Somewhere in the last couple of weeks I listened (or watched) someone talk about how important it is to talk to strangers. At the grocery check out. Walking in the neighborhood. In line at the bank. The gist of the thing was that we've become so attached to our phones that we get all the interaction we need there.
It made me start thinking about the last time I started a conversation or simply greeted someone. A couple months ago I was at Redlands Thrift going through a rack of women's tops. A woman stopped a few feet in front of me and started talking about what she was looking for. She had a party that night. Something tropical. She commented how small all of the clothes looked. We both laughed. I asked her how she wanted to dress. She wanted to be comfortable but stand out. But she said it funnier. We laughed again. Then she turned around and walked away.
Little engagements. Taking the opportunity to lengthen them with a question or reaction. They happen less frequently. It's usually a smile or wave. Sometimes I throw out a compliment if I like her shoes.
I decide I'm going to give it a try. Sometimes the hard part is remembering to remember. I made a note in little red journal-
TALKING TO STRANGERS
After class this past Friday I was walking out next to a woman that I'd overheard talking about a new restaurant downtown. I decided to tell her that based on her (overheard) recommendation we had tried Cedar Agave and enjoyed it. She told me how she and her husband love Lebanese food and had decided to really splurge there. When she talked about food something clicked. I told her I liked how she talked about food. She was obviously a foodie. Yes! she said. We ended up talking about other food and vegetable gardening and our favorite stalls at the farmer's market. It was a nice conversation. Unexpected. I thought we might quickly exchange names. But this felt like one of those real conversations. And now I know her name is Jill.
Fast forward....Saturday. Carl's playing golf. I'm in major cleaning and organizing mode. Deep cleaning refrigerator and freezer. Pulling out all of the drawers. Going through all the barely used condiments. Reviewing the leftovers. Worth saving? All this resulted in a full bag of trash, guilt over too much plastic and a trip to the cans in the alley. We share the alley with neighbors whose garage opens opposite ours. When it opened I saw three kids and massive amounts of groceries in the back of a blue SUV.
Me: Did you go to Costco?
Them: Yes. (Shyly.)
Me: It's so fun to go to Costco. I love it. All those things to see.
Them: Yes. (Less shyly.)
Mom Sarah entered the garage from the backyard. I said hi and told her that I loved what I saw when my garage door opened. We met in the center of the alley. She explained that Ellie (the oldest) was interested in the grocery store clerk's job. She had created a sort of game around it. It worked like this: Two of the kids brought the packages from the car to Ellie who stood next to a big wagon with her scanner. After scanning each box or package, she placed them in the cart. Impressive. The two youngest were unloading all of the groceries. Smart. Sarah seemed happy about it. It's obvious she pays a lot of attention to her children and really listens to them. Our conversation turned to other things- a bobcat sighting, yesterday's rain, the kids' colorful outfits. Also marriage and our defined roles. Kind of a lot.
We said our goodbyes and I went back inside.
A nice break from the organizing.
I know. I didn't really talk to strangers. Sarah and I had spoken a few times before. More often than not, it's a quick wave. This was our first real talk. And Jill was technically not a stranger. We just had never spoken more than a couple sentences. I had been thinking about and had even written down
TALKING TO STRANGERS
so maybe I engaged more openly?
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